Today, I started on a serious fitness journey that I have been thinking about for the last 2 years – starting my very first session with a personal trainer. Decided to get myself an early birthday present by investing in my health 🙂
My weight has been something I struggled with all my life. I was born a big baby, became overweight by primary school, was in TAF club, always one of those struggling to finish 2.4km in school, hated the NAFA test, got called “thunder thighs” by other girls in secondary school, crash dieted, tried many different weight loss methods but nothing has worked sustainably. I get THE stares from petite clothes salesgirls when I cannot fit Singapore XL sizes. I would eat lesser than my friends but they would lose weight while I would gain weight. It took me many years with God’s help through lots of prayers to overcome the hurt that some of my family and peers have intentionally/unintentionally said about my weight, or me being fat, or calling me names, that had cut deep. Nowadays, I would like to think that people tell me I am fat (regardless of the way of delivery) because they care about me, otherwise, why would they bother having a difficult conversation to confront me? 🙂
In the last 3 years, through various good health and fitness trainings at work, I cut down on carbs, ate more small meals, did 3x cardio/week, started regular pilates in the last 1.5 years and I am definitely fitter than I used to be and managed to slow down the rate at which I gained weight. But I guess stress at work and sedentary office work lifestyle doesn’t help, and chubbiness is still a big struggle. Tried as I may, I could not really lose enough weight for my wedding as well. Thank God my hubbubu loves me for who I am 🙂 From 2 years ago, I told myself to first get into the discipline of regular exercise and good sleep before investing in a personal trainer, so, here I am!
I have been some of my friends go through some amazing transformation over the years like Miss D.C. ,and I have reached a stage in life that there is enough “thinking” about what it would like to be fit, but I need to start “doing” and becoming “fit” to fulfill all the roles in my life – as a good steward of the life and time God has given me in different forms of ministry work (formal/informal), as a wife, (in future, if God blesses) as a mum, as a daughter, as an employee, as a manager and mentor of others, as a friend, as an avid explorer, as a blogger. I need to be physically able to have energy to do all these roles well.
Am I fearful? Of course. What if I write all of these, and even with this training, my efforts to lose weight and become fitter fail like I previously did? Even writing this post makes me feel so vulnerable and potentially judged by many of you reading. But I am learning to let go – there is no perfection to this fitness journey. I wasn’t blessed with fast burning genes like many of you, and wasn’t wise enough to be very active in my school days. But this journey isn’t about how I look anymore, or trying to gain more acceptance by being slimmer; I must root my identity in Christ alone. The journey is about me becoming a better steward of my health and energy, pushing my mental boundaries to achieve fitness milestones I never thought was possible. Because it is a journey, it only matters that I am better than I was yesterday.
So upcoming fitness milestones to compel me to train:
– Dec 2 – Standard Chartered 10km Walk/Run
– Feb – Nepal Mountain Trekking for 7 days
Am so exciting and I will be updating on my progress… I think this public accountability will keep me going 🙂
*Pics are not mine. Source are stated in the pictures.